Wordless Wednesday

NORAH

Our second born continues to bring tons of joy to our family!

Norah turned 1 about a month ago, which seems crazy! It goes so fast. I find myself cuddling her, rocking her, and holding her more since she’s hit this milestone.

Current things she’s doing:

She’s pulling herself up. She follows me around the house saying mama. She crawls into my lap and then goes back to playing. She continues to suck her thumb when sleepy. She plays hide and seek with Emma. Emma plays chase with her. She still doesn’t like swinging on swings at the park. When mad, she’ll shriek to get my attention.

Meet Alice

Yes, that's right. Alice is a frog. You see, two days ago Ben was twiddling his thumbs sitting in the security booth at Harvest. As he was staring out the window, along hopped a spritely amphibian in the direction of the gate. Being a good security guard (and boy), Ben ran outside to apprehend the green culprit. Knowing full well how much Emma would love said frog, now in custody, Ben brought it home... so begins the saga of Emma's first pet.

Ben took Emma to the pet store to pick out a home for Alice. Thinking of Emma's typical girly tendencies, Ben suggested the aquarium with the purple top. Surprisingly, Emma snatched that one, returned it to the shelf, and picked up the green one, stating it was Alice's color. After picking up a water dish and some crickets, Emma was ready to get her new found (literally), friend home.

(Emma acting like a frog)

(Emma's excited about Alice...can you tell?!)

kids say the silliest things

Some recent quotes from Emma:

"I want to catch that squirrel and squish him."

"I'm so glad Norah popped out of your mouth." (Not going to correct her with how far from reality that is)

"Mommy, I smell your breath, I'm going to turn my head."

PSALM 139

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my

mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was bring made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there were none of them.

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Our precious little girl is here! It's amazing to reflect on this verse from Psalm 139. I remember reading this verse to Emma when she was first born. Even though pregnancy can be a very trying journey for me, it's so worth it. God let me be a part of the miracle of life and for that I'm extremely grateful. He allowed my body to sustain a life for 10 months; now that's some thing to marvel at.

Ready to Leave and Be HOME

After 2.5 days in the hospital, we were ready to head home and begin our life as a family of four.

No turning back now...

Emma was sleeping when we got home because she was fighting a cold. I didn't care, I rushed in her room and woke her up. I, of course, was balling, which confused her a little. She got out of bed though in a great mood as soon as she heard Norah was waiting to meet her big sister.

Emma LOVES when Norah holds her finger

(I got this off of a blog I read. Unfortunately I've been a woman who has judged other moms, thinking my way is better or that I know how to solve the issue they are facing in parenting. I was kidding myself because I am still figuring this out, and if anything, realizing we need more mothers to stand by each other than be in competition over who's kids are better, etc. Shame on me for ever thinking my parenting style would work for someone else. Lord help me if I share any advice out of pride, but instead only out of love and a willingness to see situations from the other person's perspective.)

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Jen Klein writes in her recent article on CNN.com....

"C'mon, you've done it. You judged another mom on her choices, maybe even a close friend. You likely felt a little guilty about it -- but the judgment was still there. The way moms -- well, women in general but especially moms -- judge one another is one of those dirty little secrets of mommy social structure, and it's not so secret.

Being a mom is incredibly hard work, and there's no way to be absolutely sure you are doing it right. Kids don't come with instruction manuals and checklists. There is no annual performance review with incentive awards for successes and improvement plans for less-than-successes.

For many of us, it will be decades before we have a real sense of how we did as a mom.

Amid that incredible level of uncertainty in this oh-so-vital job, it's no wonder we look to other moms for support, reassurance -- and maybe some smug self-satisfaction.

Insecurity about our own efforts combined with the appearance (good or less-than-good) of others' efforts makes conditions ripe for judgment and lashing out. Even among close friends, it's easy to slide into this not-at-all productive dynamic -- whether we want to admit it or not. Best friends or worst enemies -- or both -- the social dynamic among moms is a complicated, two-faced beast. It's the "mommy mafia."

Ah, yes, the mommy mafia. Enforcers of local social structures and norms and judgers of all who dare to do things differently. The mommy mafia can be brutal.

There's a little bit of the mommy mafia in each of us. Throw in one or a dozen of the hot-button issues in parenting today, and it's a potentially combustible situation -- the makings of a mommy mafia turf war!

Working-outside-the-home or stay-at-home, breast or bottle, cloth diapers or disposable, organic or processed, public school or home school, or any one of a myriad of topics from pregnancy to adulthood.

You make your decisions and hope you got them right, but a friend or a "frenemy" makes a comment or gives you the stink-eye and you doubt your decisions all over again -- or you're the one making the comments or giving the eye to a mom who dared to do it differently from you.

When we have any kind of insecurity about our own parenting decisions, pointing fingers at the choices and parenting decisions of others is the easiest thing to do. It deflects attention from issues in our own parenting situation that might rightly need more personal thought and attention. Whether we are convinced that one way is the right way -- or we are still trying to convince ourselves that our decision is the right one -- it's base insecurity that drives this lashing out, this mommy mafia on display.

The mommy mafia, however, is more about perception than anything else. The enforcers are real, but the basis on which we enforce is myth: the myth of the perfect mom, something none of us will attain.

Here's the thing: We're all figuring it out as we go along. Every last one of us. There is no single right way to parent and we all parent differently by necessity -- and none of us are perfect. We all have a different set of circumstances, different strengths and weaknesses, and a different set of lenses through which we make decisions for ourselves and on behalf of our families. From the ones you have judged to the ones who have judged you, we're all doing the best we can, imperfections and all.

And if we all did parent exactly the same way? Sure, the noise around parenting issues would be much quieter, but it would also be a much more boring world. But those differences don't have to slide into mommy mafia turf, either. Learning to accept that we're all different and imperfect as parents is hard, however, especially when we want so much to do a great job.

It starts with accepting ourselves and the choices we have made. We each make a set of choices based on our life, knowledge, resources, and the information before us. No two sets of circumstances are exactly the same either, even within the same family -- and when you are making decisions for your family, the response of the local mommy mafia should be the last thing on your mind.

Once we get to personal acceptance, it's a short hop to real support of one another as moms. Banish the mommy mafia and reject the turf wars. Be the best mom you can be, but accept your imperfections and just keep working at it. You'll likely find you are more resilient and have less need to lash out -- and that's just plain good parenting."