"The thing is, we don't really know what the future looks like. And that thought takes my breath away just as much as it calms me into a place where I am forced to enjoy this very moment."
 Kelle Hampton Bloom

Ever read some thing and it touches you deep down in your soul? You let out an AMEN and a long sigh. You want to share it with your husband because then he might understand why you respond the way you do because you are fighting a battle between the present moments and an unknown future. And this may help him gain the clarity he so desperately needs. Or anyone else close to you for that matter.

It defines life right now in our house. The desperate plea to hold on to the moments that seem to be drifting away so fast. The desperate plea to catch our breath when we are forced to look at and accept things changing. We want to be comfortable. Change is hard, unpredictable.

Breathe. Don't get ahead of yourself. Just breathe. I had moments this week where this became my mantra. (along with "just keep swimming" from Nemo)

Many things are changing for the good. We got amazing news that most people don't get in a lifetime, but at the same time, this news brings a lot of stress. It's hard when good news does that because most of the time you don't realize it's good news until you're sitting on the couch with your husband, and finally say "This is good, right?" Smiles slowly creeping over lips that were straight lines just moments before.

When the dust settles and I take 1 more second to breathe (insert mantra here), I can laugh about how news so good can throw me into a whirlwind of "what if's" and "can we really's" and "are we going to be okay?" and "will our girls understand?".

Take another second. Breathe.

We'll rally the troops (amazing, supportive) friends and family, get through the weeks and months ahead.

Again breathe.

And try to remember in the midst of chaos why we do what we do, and how blessed we are to do it.

oh the joys

A few things I've been thankful for:

1. A new pedicure tool for my feet. They are now on the road to recovery!

2. Zantac. After a few days of not feeling so hot, went to doctor, and she's thinking hernia. Still pursuing a more "natural" remedy, but thankful none the less.

3. My hubcap not falling off this morning, like I thought it had. While on the phone with Ben, he informed me that we don't have hubcaps, and the one I ran over was not ours. I, of course, was in a mad dash to get some where, and freaked out, thinking that my tire was going to fall off. Oh the craziness of stress; takes you to irrational places.

4. Walmart with Norah. Who knew shopping could be so fun with a toddler. Girl can talk, and she did! Pointing at everything, oohing and aahing. She's been showing off her mad talking skills lately.

5. Emma asking how many days until ____ (fill in the blank). I'll tell her, and she will say "I can count to ____(fill in the blank)." If only it worked that way!

What A Stinker

A Beautiful

Photogenic

Silly

Sweet

Sassy

Independent

Stinker

She of course got a hold of the lens cap and tried putting it back on.

It became a little game.

There are tons of little Rah Rah prints all over my camera

If she sees the camera laying out, she points to it, saying "Norah".

Girlfriend loves to look at herself.

And I of course don't mind looking at her either.

A New "Wreath"

We needed a new "wreath".

Really any other object than the Christmas wreath still on our front door.

Yep, still had it up in January.

I run from the car to the house, not thinking about anything but warmth.

At times I would glimpse the wreath, thinking I should take it down, but not until this idea came to me (from another blog) did I get motivated.

__________________________________________________________________

It took a little time to get prepped.

Needed lots of crayon shavings.

After two blisters on my finger and a sore hand we were ready to put it together.

Step 1: Shave Valentine colored shavings into a bowl

(try a potato peeler to avoid blisters)

Step 2: Let your child sprinkle shavings onto a heart shaped piece of wax paper

(okay, skipped a few steps i.e. cutting out wax paper into hearts)

Step 3: Preheat iron

Step 4: Place wax paper heart (full of crayon shavings) onto brown paper bag.

Step 5: Cover with a matching wax paper heart

Step 6: Place another brown paper bag over the entire heart

Step 7: Slowly go over the brown paper bag with the iron

(will melt crayon pretty quickly)

Step 8: Remove brown paper bag. Look to see if crayon shavings have melted.

Step 9: Repeat steps 6-8 if needed

Step 10: Hang on door or window.

The week is coming to an end.

Many times I thought "I need a vacation."

Emma has been diagnosed with pink eye again.

We've been to the doctor more with this than any thing else.

I'm not completely convinced it's the correct diagnosis.

The "routine" of life with one car has been grating on my nerves.

Waking up at 5:30am is exhausting.

My attitude has gone from thankful to grumpy.

I'll get over it.

I'll find away to press on.

Relying on His promises.

But I can still say this week was hard.

__________________________________________________________________

Some precious moments I'm thankful for this morning while I blog and drink my coffee.

notice the blue marker by shortie's face. What a mess =)

LOVE HIM...MISS HIM

Introspections

I lose myself in the day to day.

I lose who I want to be as a wife, mother, believer, and friend.

I get distracted by stress; it takes over every fiber.

I look at my plans for the day, week, month, and year.

I have high expectations of what it's going to look like.

It never looks the way I planned.

Some times I'm okay with that, but some times it throws me for a loop.

The loop is hard to recover from.

Some times days will pass, and I'm still stuck.

I just can't seem to grasp the concept of being okay with not knowing.

Yes, I'm a control freak.

Not all the time.

But most of the time.

I am learning to give that over to the One who knows everything.

His hands are more capable than mine.

He's doing some amazing things.

He wants to show me how great He is.

My eyes are refocusing.

My attitude is changing.

My lack of control is not causing as many heart palpitations.

I'm learning to LOVE the adventure.