Its been raining for 3 days straight. I like rain. I do. However, it has left me in the funk of sorts. Its left me feeling damp to the core. I turn up the heat, but nothing gets the chill from my bones. Lying in bed under layers of covers help tremendously. Can't do that with two little ones running around. Emma's been out of school for the last two days. I still feel like I haven't seen her. As a mom, I hate that feeling. My daughter is changing and I'm missing it because life is busy. It gets to me. I just want to wrap her in my arms and hold her all day long.
She would think I'm weird. Time just keeps going. I cling desperately for more. The past few weeks have been hard. Her and I seem to be at odds. She gives me attitude and I shrivel up a little inside. It hurts. When it hurts, I get an attitude too. The wall goes up so quickly. She won't be able to hurt me again, which of course is untrue. I know this happens with moms and daughters. Not yet though, right?! I want the short time I have with her to be a treasure. It feels like a fight. We'll get into a rhythm I'm sure. In the meantime, I feel a little lost. My pessimistic side rears its ugly head. Lies are thrown at me. Another fight to see past the hard.
1 comment:
I love this. It is a fight to see past the hard, and you can do it.
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